


got a king size mattress we can lay

by magique



Series: abandoned bbys [10]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Episode Related, Episode: S4E15 Night Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 13:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1389991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magique/pseuds/magique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwight goes home with his blonde Varsity Basketball/Water Polo/Football/Hockey playing Amazon new girlfriend or whatever, but he drops Michael and Ryan off on the way. Ryan’s place is tiny—one kitchen-lounge-bedroom and a pokey little bathroom with barely enough space to pee standing up—and it makes Michael feel a whole lot better about his condo, even if it’s trashed and missing half the furniture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	got a king size mattress we can lay

**Author's Note:**

> in my doc folders this is called "wtf is this jfc michaelryan why." hopefully that is enough indication of how ridiculous this is. 
> 
> the title is a line from pitbull's "i know you want me." i, yeah, idk.

Dwight goes home with his blonde Varsity Basketball/Water Polo/Football/Hockey playing Amazon new girlfriend or whatever, but he drops Michael and Ryan off on the way. Ryan’s place is tiny—one kitchen-lounge-bedroom and a pokey little bathroom with barely enough space to pee standing up—and it makes Michael feel a whole lot better about his condo, even if it’s trashed and missing half the furniture. (Jan had taken a lot of his things with her, but he figured silence was the better part of getting rid of her.)

He has to help Ryan out of the car and then up the stairs and then into the apartment, with Cameraman 2 (Rob? Rick? Lance?) just hovering behind them, filming. Michael isn’t in much better a state than Ryan either, not after his dog washing ex-future wife abandoned him, so they’re stumbling and falling all over each other the whole way.

Ryan waves vaguely and mumbles, “Couch,” before collapsing on the mattress. Michael has a sensitive neck though and he might not miss Jan, but he misses sharing a bed with someone. He misses waking up with an arm slung low over his hip, and rolling over to see someone’s face soft in sleep, and having someone to talk to last thing at night and then again first thing in the morning. His bed has felt really empty lately.

He sits heavily on the bed beside Ryan and fumbles at his shoelaces.

“Michael,” Ryan groans, but all he does is turn his head to the side instead of straight into the pillow and watch Michael out of the corner of his eye.

Michael leans down and says, “Cameraman 2 needs the couch,” and Ryan squints a bit and then nods jerkily.

Ryan is being a lot more receptive than usual, so Michael tells him, “I really thought the veterinarian lady was the one,” and, “I miss being in a couple,” and, “It’s not the horniness, Ryan, it’s the _loneliness_ ,” and never really sits back up from leaning over Ryan’s face.

And Ryan never really stops watching him, even when he twists and kicks and rolls onto his back. “New York’s lonely,” he admits. His eyes are wide and a clear, pale blue, and he’s—he is definitely different-hot to Jan, who was hard and sharp and even sort of scary in bed, but Michael could use being with someone very much _not_ Jan.

Michael shifts, licks his lips, and watches Ryan’s eyes flicker down, watches Ryan mimic him without even seeming to realise it, his tongue a pink flash that leaves his mouth shiny and wet.

“This is so far above my pay grade,” Rob/Rick/Lance mutters from the couch.

\---

“We can adopt,” Michael confesses to Pete’s camera the next morning. He’s sitting on the bed, partly dressed, sleep-mussed and wrapped in the covers. There are messy, red bruises and stubble-burn starting to come up on his neck and upper-chest.

“What?” Ryan demands from out of frame. “Oh God, were you here the whole time?”

Michael gives the camera an eager, wide-eyed smile, and Pete says, “I went into the bathroom while you guys fucked.”

“Oh my God,” Ryan says faintly. “Michael, can you—come into the bathroom for a second?”

“Round two,” Michael tells Pete confidently, and Ryan makes a muted noise of despair and drags him away before he says anything else.

Pete can still film them through the cracked door and neither of them turned off their microphones, so either they’re so used to being watched that they don’t really care or they were too stupid and hungover to remember.

“We could get a black one and call it Tupac,” Michael suggests, like maybe that will help his case.

“I’m not going to adopt a baby with you,” Ryan says. He looks sort of shell-shocked. “That is not happening.”

“We’ll work up to that,” Michael says.

“Last night was a one-time thing,” Ryan whisper-shouts. “I was hi—I was drunk and it was a mistake!”

“Ryan,” Michael says, “come on, it was obviously—”

“ _Michael_ ,” Ryan says, “do you know how it would _look_ —”

“Ryan,” Michael says, and Pete can just see where his hand comes to rest on Ryan’s sharp hipbone just above his boxer-briefs.

Softer, Ryan says, “Don’t,” but when Michael kisses him, his mouth opens and he breathes out a muffled, “Fuck,” and then Pete’s ears are full of the quiet, wet noises of them making out.

“If I don’t get a pay rise out of this….” Pete says, tugging off his headphones, and stares at the ceiling until he hears the bathroom door snick shut.

\---

Ryan ends up giving in and letting Pete interview him the next time he’s back in Scranton. He sits with his back to the interior window of the conference room and almost walks out when Pete asks, “How are things with Michael?”

He rubs his hand over his mouth and the scratchy stubble on his cheeks. “Fine,” he says. “Normal.”

“So he’s not still trying to convince you to date him? Yesterday he asked Oscar if adoption is harder for gays.”

Ryan stares a Pete like he’s a betrayer. “You know, dating Michael was a big part of Jan self-destructing. That’s not—I’m not going there, I’ve got—I’m going to be successful.” He does sort of sound like he really _wants_ to be sure about that.

“Jan spent months resisting him too,” Pete says, sage.

Ryan’s mouth opens, then closes. Opens again. Closes. He squeezes his eyes shut and says, “Oh God, I’m his new Jan.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm whatevermortal on [tumblr](http://whatevermortal.tumblr.com/) & also [dreamwidth](http://whatevermortal.dreamwidth.org/) and i _always_ want new fandom buddies on both yo


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